So my little Paul tribe left me for a few days to go visit Jeff’s parents in Nashville. My heart has not been full since they left. My friends think I am crazy for missing them so much and should be rejoicing over the peace and quiet in my home. I have not been able to sleep at night. As a matter of fact, one night I woke up because I heard the words “mommy,” only to realize that I was imagining things because I was all alone in my house. My imagination only got better when I awoke the next morning to the sounds of little pitter pattering footsteps running down the hall… again, not reality, because I was all alone in my home. I know, I know, I sound like a big baby, don’t I? I mean, for crying out loud, before marriage and children, I lived all alone for 3 years in my town house. I was fine. Everything was great. However, I have now become accustomed to having at least one of my peeps with me at all times. Call me crazy, but I have been so “homesick” since they left home…. and I am the one still at home. Believe me, they are fine. I am not at all worried about them or their well-being. Jeff loves visiting his parents and the kids were ecstatic to see their grandparents. I need not worry because they are safe, protected and are being spoiled rotten, I am certain. I just love my little family so much that my heart is unsettled when we are not all together.
This feeling makes me wonder if this is the exact same way our Heavenly Father feels about us, His beloved. He loves us so much that He formed and knitted us together so perfectly in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:14). And prior to that and on an even grander scale of love, He gave up His life so that we could exist and have eternal life (John 3:16). I ponder what the Father feels like, when we, His children, walk away for a bit. This “walking away” may be for a moment, a day, week, months or even years. He desires to have communion with us on a daily basis. He wants to sit with us and dine. He desires to speak to us through His word and prayer. I can’t imagine how much He misses us when we fail to sit in His presence. Not only does He miss us, I am speaking for myself here, but when this happens for me, I MISS HIM! When I am not diligent to be in His presence daily, I love that I can come back to Him, His arms will be open wide and He is always available for me to climb up in His lap and freely allows me to bask in His amazing presence. 1 John 4:19 is truth that He loved me first! I know because of His love for me, He yearns to spend quality time with me every day. Thank you Jesus, that as our Father, He loves us regardless if we are near or far. I can only fathom, that He is happiest when all of His tribe is together with Him just as my heart is most settled when my little tribe is all together with me.