beauty in death…

In posting stories about childhood cancer… there are stories of healing, survival and freedom… however, not all stories end on beauty as we know it this side of Heaven.  As a former pediatric oncology nurse,  I saw death of children, head on.  Children that I cared for every time I stepped foot onto the oncology floor, parents and siblings that became more like family to me… were faced with the reality of death at a young age right before my eyes.  Many of these precious children still have a piece of my heart to this day.

In 2011, childhood cancer became a reality to my family.  My cousin’s son, Brenton was diagnosed with leukemia.  Brenton was a warrior and a fighter.  He stayed strong and fought hard to the very end.  He touched so many lives along the way.  I know there will be more lives in Heaven because of the impact Brenton had on them.

With these “beauty for ashes” stories… they will not all look the same, sound the same or even have the same results.  Beauty will be very evident in some… and others… we will have to look for the “beautiful” side within.  Brenton’s childhood cancer story ended in death of this life… but there is such beauty in knowing that he is now free of cancer,  all tears and pain has been erased and he is with Jesus forever.  His salvation was secure and he is now one “beautifully” handsome creation in Christ.

The following words are from his mom, my cousin, Amie.  I can’t even begin to fathom the pain and heartache she feels having lost her son a little over a year ago.  She knows the truths: Brent is in Heaven. Brent is better off now.  Brent is free of cancer.  Brent is with Jesus… and she will see Brent again.  Yes, those are truths that Amie knows… but in her every day life… she hurts.  She aches.  She cries.  She is bitter and angry.  She wants to kiss and hug her son again this side of Heaven.  I asked Amie to contribute to this month on childhood cancer by writing a letter about her son or a letter to her son, knowing it would be very hard for her, as she is still very deep in the grieving process.  I mentioned to her that writing out her thoughts/feelings might be therapeutic for her.  Please read the following from the mindset of a mom who lost her son to cancer.  Open your heart to feel her pain.  She mentions in the beginning, that she couldn’t get out a complete letter to her son… so instead, she wrote a letter to cancer… and after you read it… please remember to pray for her and the thousands of other parents just like her who wake up every morning without their children this side of Heaven…

Here is Amie’s story:

I was asked to write a letter to my son Brent Beshers that passed away from Leukemia on April 30, 2013. It is still too fresh and the gaping hole in my heart wouldn’t let me. He was diagnosed on August 12, 2011. We endured many hospital stays, we were sent to several different hospitals to receive treatment but to no avail. Brent was a very caring young man and loved his friends and family. He put them before his own hurt and pain. With all that being said, below is what came out when I tried to write a letter to him.

I call it “If Cancer Were a Person”

Hey cancer! Yeah you CANCER, I am talking to you! Turn around and face me! I had to face you for two years and all you answered was my nightmares! On 8/12/11 you called one of my healthiest babies name and threw me in the floor with shock and disbelief. We started battling you that day and have been every day since! You first came as a hope that he would get better but as time went on you showed your ugly side! You made him go through chemo, multiple surgeries/procedures and a bone marrow transplant (which we were told he would survive). But we showed you! With the help of my 7 year old daughter we showed you! We came out, beat you down, fought you and we won!! Or so we thought. We were great for 7 months. No cancer and waiting on 5 more months to hear the words “1 year cancer free, you are in remission!” Little did we know you had the upper hand and came back with a vengeance! You came back in a way the doctors had never really seen before. It didn’t matter we fought you once again! This time with the intent of getting rid of you forever! You had other plans and unfortunately in the end you took what was not yours to take! You took my baby! I HATE you for this and always will. But guess what CANCER, you didn’t win, we did! Our baby is with his Maker, waiting on us and watching over us. You may have taken him from this world where we can no longer see him but WE know we will again see him one day! So see all the heartache and pain you have put us through and we are still going through….WE WILL NOT LET YOU WIN!!!!!

Amie

We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. (2 Corinthians 5:8 KJV)

blog pic brent 3 blog pic brent 2 blog pic brent 4this last photo is from the baseball team at Brenton’s high school. they wore sweat bands with his initials in his honor on the day of his funeral.  Brenton touched so many lives… may the legacy that he left behind continue…

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.  The Beshers family would like to promote CURE and their efforts to raise awareness of childhood cancer.  To find out more about CURE visit their website at curechildhoodcancer.org.

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